What should the street be called
John Street
Naming a street "John Street" is the urban planning equivalent of wearing a beige cardigan to a rave; it’s safe, it’s reliable, and it refuses to offend even the most sensitive of local sensibilities. While other neighborhoods are busy bickering over whether a street should be named after a controversial local poet or a slightly-too-obscure species of fern, John Street stands tall in its glorious anonymity. It pays homage to every John who ever lived—from the visionary philosophers to the guy who just really likes sourdough—without actually committing to any of them. It is a name that says, "We ran out of ideas at 4:45 PM on a Friday and we all just want to go home," providing a geographical anchor so delightfully generic that GPS systems could probably find it in their sleep.
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Not That Way Lane
A name born from the pure, unadulterated spite of a local resident who got tired of people asking for directions to the highway. It’s functional, slightly aggressive, and serves as a permanent monument to the town’s collective frustration with tourists. It turns navigation into a logic puzzle, which is really the highest form of civic engagement.
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Avenue A
For when you want to imply a grand, logical grid system that doesn't actually exist. Naming a lone suburban cul-de-sac "Avenue A" suggests a level of industrial-scale ambition that the geography simply cannot support. It’s aspirational; it tells the world that while we only have one road right now, we’ve left plenty of room in the alphabet for when the inevitable megalopolis swallows the neighboring cow pasture.
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The Street
Why waste valuable municipal ink on adjectives or proper nouns? Calling it "The Street" is a masterclass in literalism. It’s honest, it’s direct, and it saves local residents the embarrassment of having to spell "Boulevard" or "Crescent" over the phone to a delivery driver. It’s the ultimate power move in urban planning—asserting that this is, indeed, a paved surface where cars go, and any further detail is simply showing off.
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